From left to right: Ash Hall, Ashley Fletcher, Danny Jones, Dan Beall, Rich Lee, Henry Stables, Jonny 5 and Oliver Glossop. Not Pictured Joff Barker & Greg Somerset.
Prologue & photography by Greg Somerset
‘Quand on est à Rome’ – Lyon 2015 article written by Oliver Glossop.
Edit by Dan Beall
The whole idea of this trip started on a wet night down at The House at the back end of 2014. I was doing the usual lurking and watched the Flo Mirtain section that had been realised a couple of weeks prior. This just got me super eager to get on a trip to Lyon. I asked Ash who was down straight away. I knew Beall would be keen after growing up with him and knowing that Bon Appetite is still one of his favourite videos. After a week or two of asking around and a scratch card win for Jonny we had a solid crew together all up for it. This is just an insight to our trip. I hope you enjoy.
Birthday boy a couple of hours prior to his horrid slam.
Before we even start I just want to give this guy a massive shout out. Right from the very beginning of our trip he had every single one of us in stitches. The plane ride there has to be one of the funniest experiences of my life. He had me, Oli and Beall in stitches laughing the whole flight, not to mention a new friend he’d acquired, an old but really lovely lady called Viv. The second day we was there was his birthday so because of this (and because it was piss wet through) and because Rich is a “die hard” city fan we’d all go have a few beers and watch his beloved ‘City’. City lost 2-1 to Liverpool which must of been a bad omen for the day ahead. After the game we all decided to go have a skate as it had dried up. We were skating around for ages trying to find Place Guichard (the spot where Danny does a 360 flip below) and we ended up finding Place Blache. After skating around for a while I managed to get a photo of Jonny (see below) and Beall managed to get a few clips logged. After a while Rich started playing about trying to ollie on a bench and backside flip over a manny pad (it was fucking huge!). To cut to the chase he didn’t make it and ended having a horrid slam. I’ve seen Rich jump down some ridiculous stairs and take some harsh slams but as soon as he took this slam we all knew he’d fucked it. Joff was the only one who spoke French and managed to get Rich an ambulance. The rest of the guys went back to the hotel all pretty down hearted as our trip looked to be fucked and we’d not even started. Me, Ash, Joff, Fletcher and Henry managed to find the hospital even if the paramedics did send us to the wrong hospital, and the correct one was about 5 times the distance! An anxious wait followed as we found out that Rich’s ‘travel insurance’ only covered him when he was it the UK. Rich came out with an X-ray in hand and thankfully nothing was broken but he had buggered his ligaments. From that day he did not complain once. He took in like a man and just carried on cracking all of us up all week. Cheers Rich mate hope you get well soon from every one of us!
Oli had not skate for about 6 months before this trip and made this look so easy. Bs Tailslide with the best steez!
‘Quand on est à Rome’ – Lyon 2015
When Greg asked me to stick somethin’ together for this article, my memory was completely hijacked by Jonny 5’s face wearing a cheeky grin and lenseless shades, repeating ”when in Rome” like one of Sid’s mutilated pull chord toys from the Pixar classic. Cheers Johnny. After getting over the writer’s block by picturing ash doing a back smith on it (sorry 😉 ) so many good memories came to me from each and every one of the lads on the trip, in the alleged gastro-capital of France. “All wiv fuckin et since wi got ere is cheese n am sarnis” – Rich Tea on the Jambon/Emmantal invasion
It was all about old school mates (and new ones, Danny), getting together for a skate and a beer – obviously I did a bit more of one than the other, but if you’d have stuck me and Ash together you get the perfect balance. Cheers Ash. I’ve got too many stories to tell, so if I haven’t strained your little stoned eyes enough already, here are some of my untainted favourite moments and quotes.
Henry getting all arty
I could write a full article in homage to the one and only Rich Tea. I’d not seen the guy for time and I’d forgotten just how funny he is – I swear everything that comes out of his mouth is a one liner. We all shared my hip flask on the coach, and then the bottle when we got to the airport. One of the funniest scenes I can remember which truly kicked the trip off was when we were in the queue waiting to check our luggage in, and Rich started playing ‘Hot Stuff’ from the Full Monty on his phone. Don’t think the other passengers were too impressed with our rendition, but fuck ‘em. When in…
Who knew airports could be so fun? Rich befriended just about everyone in there, convincing them to record a “welcome to Eazy Streets” intro, and trying to beat the record for most number of forced selfies – Pedro was my fave – before he made his new best friend Viv (cougar) on the plane. Viv is a legend. Whilst Rich admired the wing and macced on Viv, we were all reduced to tears and the two passengers in front of us had requested a seat change within about 5 minutes of being there. It’s not like we were being loud. Or like it was half 6 in the morning. With such a sensible start, what could go wrong?
Unbeknownst to everybody else, as soon as Rich had made us all cry on the plane with one liners like “that’s a nice wing” I slyly started writing them in my phone memo. Jonny 5 quotes are easy pickings to say the least. He was a fucking shredder from day one, doin’ flip noseslides on this block that was too big for me to sit on (this same spot by the way, was where ash did a wallie from the top bit, on my board, on the way to get a baguette or somethin. That’s how you shoot a photo). Five seemed to think we were everywhere but Lyon, walking around saying “This is England!” and after being ordered to drink a beer every time he said “Rome” it became “when in Barnsley” or any other place that we weren’t…he was so excitable, and kept the pulse of the trip alive even if it did make me wish I was dead at times.
Kickflips for breakfast? Danny smashed this right out the bag at like 10:30 in the morning, what an animal.
Jonny proper battled through with the skating and got a sick night line on the last night, when everybody else couldn’t even be arsed to walk. Commitment that son. My funniest memory of Five was when we’d watched Man City lose on Rich’s worst Birthday ever, and we’d been dropping coins in each other’s pints…(you know where you have to neck it, right?)…anyway, Johnny’s attempt at skipping stones in the fountain on the way back was like an episode of Tekeshi’s Castle, and he surprisingly ended up with a very wet leg. I fully creased when he said “someone’s gonna have to watch my back while I put my shoe in the microwave at the hotel” hahaha fuckin’ brilliant. Needless to say he achieved this, then used the same microwave to make everybody toasties with his supermarché goody bag. Always lookin’ after people. Ledge. Still, my favourite quote from 5 was in response to me saying that I wanted to learn French: “you wanna get on that Rosetta Stone shit and learn it in your sleep – that’s how I revised for my GCSE’s”. Cheers Jonny. Straight in the phone memo!
Jonny 5 popping a huge ollie at the scene where Rich had unfortunate injury.
I don’t wanna dwell too much on what happened later that Sunday with the misfortune that Rich suffered, but fuck me he suffered it well! I can remember as he was lying on the floor after trying to Ollie this gap straight into a concrete bench, feeding him some coke (acola) and Henry asked “you ok Rich?” and he just nonchantly replied “City lost. I’m not arsed”. Just before this, Bez got on the other side of his camera and showed me how you’re supposed to film a line, getting it basically first try. Cheers Bez. Speaking of first tries, Ash. There was this one time, in Lyon…where Ash didn’t land a trick. Superhuman.
Ash cruising along with a back T like it was nothing. This is A LOT steeper then it looks and the run up is pure crust.
Joff was an absolute G at that spot (and for showing us shit loads of sick spots) when Rich got injured, using his local lingo to sort an ambulance out and goin’ to the hospital with Ash n Greg. They were all so selfless that day. Puuuuure respect fams. More so, in spite of us all feeling sorry for Rich, he didn’t feel sorry for himself at all n just got on with his holiday, which was a lot happier for himm after he’d spoken to his phone service provider and got them to take off the child lock. He had ‘a day in’ after that! Lucky it wasn’t your other arm mate!
Our very own Carl Pilkington with a 360 flip
While Rich was getting looked at, me, Bez, Jonny and Danny hit up this dope piano bar with the most random set (played Girl from Iponema followed by Bananas in Pijamas), then headed back to the Irish Bar where you could buy a full pint. This was one of my favourite memories of Danny: we’d been quietly admiring a group of French gals upstairs, and Danny came back from the toilet flustered “I’ve just walked in on a lass havin’ a piss and I saw her fanny”…”whhheeeey” we all shouted as he just looked disgusted and said “it fuckin’ stunk”! The girl then brought him a shot of Tequila to our table (which I drunk. Mérci.) presumably in the hope that Danny would keep his mouth shut…he just hoped she’d do the same with her legs. Everything went into a big gnarly mess after that. All I know is that it resulted in my favourite quote from Ash the following morning:”there’s been a complaint…”. Final warning on our first night. Sós Ibis.
Third times a charm. I actually shot this 3 times, once during the day when Ash was on Oli’s board on the way to the shop, a second time at night when Ash actually had his own board but unfortunately I mistakenly deleted it whilst shooting photos at the Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière. We shot this on the very final night and was by far the best one. Cheers Ash!
Danny Jones isn’t just an accidental perv though, he’s an absolute beast. For those of you that don’t know Scarborough’s answer to Bruce Willis on a skateboard, the dude fuckin’ lives hard (that’s not completely random – his favourite film is actually Die Hard…Don’t ask me why, but his ‘yippee ki-yay’ attitude to skateboarding is actually a bit scary!). He came on the Doctor’s dietary orders of 5-rails-a-day, in between flippin’ too many steps to count for breakfast and chowing down on double sets you couldn’t be arsed to walk up for supper. Skate and devour, Monsieur. My favourite memory of Danny was seeing the contents of his Fear and Loathing in Lyon like suitcase, which left a fair few milligrams lighter….all for ‘his back’ of course. Patient come Doctor, he was a Godsend medicating Rich for his arm, and the rest of us for our faults.
The accidental perv himself with a 360 over dog shit, literally.
I’ve got to say that for its Renaissance Quarters, hashish 8ths and Ash’s Switch Back Suskie’s, Lyon is amazing albeit fucking torture. The male:female ratio is like half a man to every hundred women, and they’re all absolutely ridiculous. I literally saw two rough girls in the whole week – one of them was in the queue behind me in Maccy D’s, and the other was serving me. It wasn’t all bourguignons and jambon you know. I gave the ‘hotel desk clerk’, Constance, a rose on the last night (can’t mistranslate the language of love baby) but it didn’t go down as planned. Ouch baby, very ouch.
I always forget how dope Henry is at skating. He had this on lock. He filmed this with Beall and let me play about a bit whilst the sun was playing havoc. Cheers Henners, I still owe you a beer for this!
Midway through the week, me n Greg had wandered off to get some food ‘cus we were too pussy to skate, and ended up goin’ in this restaurant and getting a couple of mystery burgers. The waitress there was like fuckin’ Liz Hurley in bedazzled. We were completely lost in translation, but she proper had us… even if we’d have spoken fluent French we’d have still been speechless. It was so funny –all we could do was gorp, and all we could say was “you choose”! She brought us some proper peng burgers and a dope salad. Merci, luv!
A massive highlight for me was everyone havin a meal in that steakhouse in Lyon’s own mini-Meadowhall. Greg went all out there in the Adidas shop and completed his footy hat-trick: 1. Getting off the coach not looking like Harry Kane 2. Not sounding a lot like Joey Barton when he ordered the (written in English) ‘Little Italy Salad’ 3. Going to buy the Lyon footy shirt and not impulse buying the away shirt too. €160 not bad either. It was so sick he that was repping the Lyon shirt while he was doing this no comply pole jam ting right at the side of the Saone river on our last day (Bezza got shouted at for wearing a Lille shirt!). Greg killed it to say he was in hospital the week before with a fucked knee, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s in this week with his back after carrying all that camera gear every day. Props.
Whilst everyone had disappeared for a while me and Ash chilled at this spot for a while. One because I knew how much he actually wanted to skate it but the weather was beautiful and I had beer and grapes so who was I to moan? Ash just rolled off a number of tricks at this spot but here he is doing a front blunt.
We got real lucky the whole week with the weather, and especially that last day, cus the sun was proper beaming so we just chilled with a cider on the river whilst Greg got his manoeuvre. Joff enlightened us that every time we’d been asking for cider, it actually translated into asking for aids. Any takers? Also turned out that when we thought we were telling a girl she was beautiful we’d actually been asking if she had any wheat! I’m sure they’d have been falling at our feet if we’d have just listened properly to Joff…
I wish the trip had’ve ended by that river, ‘cus it soon shifted into an episode of Tramadol Nights… The owner of the bar a couple of doors down from the hotel was safe as fuck, dishin’ out the shots and sortin’ us a zoot on the last night, and his best mate was from Worksop! We were in that bar for tim – Greg and Danny kept getting mad rounds in. It was such a heavy night and we had to be up at 6 to get to the airport – most of us were completely ruined I don’t know how Greg managed to wake us up. It was fucking hilarious when Viv was on the same plane back and Rich got to reunite with her and get some motherly sympathy for his injury. She was a proper gem! When we landed in Manchester I’d started to wake up a bit and when we got outside and I got my fags out, there was half of last night’s zoot in there! Fully oblivious I’d taken it on the plane. Bonus. Good job they didn’t anally probe me like on the way in!
We spotted this spot on the first day pretty much but every time we wanted to skate it was either wet or there was a car parked on the run out. On this occasion the weather was perfect and no cars parked near. It was still a fucker though, there was some sketchy dudes smoking a joint just on the yellow blocks when we got there. It was on the end of a junction and motorists in France DO NOT give a fuck, if you are in their way they will run you over. Some horrid crack women kicked over my flash for no apparent reason, just shouted and then chipped. Plus there was dog shit right where I wanted to shoot. Beall pulled through with a frontside flip.
Shenanigans and frivolities aside, Lyon had full on breath taking views like at the Basilique (where J5 baptized Rich in a Holy font), and at the Roman Amphitheatre (where J5 was pardoned for saying ‘when in Rome’!) but it’s just overwhelming how good it is or skating. Why’s Lyon got acne? ‘Cus it’s covered in spots bruvv! Sorry last one. Seriously it was like what they say about rats…and people from Worksop it seems. Me and Ash were having a little bedtime biff and a well-deserved catch up down by the river one night, talking about different places to skate and how they compare to our stomping ground, through a painting analogy – If you’re asked to create a work of art with just three colours in your palette, it’s so hard to achieve your desired image (unless you’re Mandrian), and Lyon offered an endless palette for us to take advantage of – you can see why the locals are so fucking good! If you’ve not been, go!
Here’s John McClane himself putting the hammers down on the last day. He had been itching to skate a rail all week and every time we found one we either got kicked off or people wanted to move on. We got there in the end Danny, YIPPEE KI YAY MOTHER F****R
Got ‘nuff respect for everybody on the trip, J5, Rich, Danny, Henry, Joff, Fletch, Greg, Ash n Bezza. Bez fuckin smashed it. Absolute legend, filming, skating, and Beall laughing. I fully underestimated how well he can skate on a hangover too! Was so stoked when him n J5 proper came up on the Saphir Euro scratch cards ha. My favourite memory of him pretty much sums up the trip for me – one night we were walking through some proper deserted side streets of Lyon chanting ‘marching on together’ like pissed up footy fans from England. Well, as pissed up footy fans from England! Even though we all hate Leeds scum, that’s what it was all about, marchin’ on together. Awwhhhh. Sick.
Last day chilling in the heat with some beers. Best way to end an amazing week with the best guys.
Big up to all the mandem crew beat L2Y0N15, PoP skateboards and Eazy Streets.